5 Is Not Enough
Posted on Thursday, April 30, 2015 by
200 teenagers in Pierce County will age out of the foster care system, with no family to speak of.
Five is Not Enough
What if He had never given me a second glance? What if the Lord had looked at my teenage self, in all of my chaos, sin and filth---and said it was too late? What if He dismissed me because I was “too hardened, too damaged,” or even, as a teenager, “too old?”
Rewind my story fifteen years. I was thick in a pile of brokenness. I wanted to be loved so desperately that I sought it out in all the wrong places and showed my frantic need by pushing those who tried to get close as far away as possible. I wasn’t in foster care, but I was a mess.
Yet despite my resistance, my issues, and my labels - God refused to give up. He chose to fight an uphill battle for the kid others had already dismissed, and His pursuit set my path anew. My rescue was messy. It was two steps forward and three steps back. He continually forgave and constantly poured out grace. Each time I ran, He opened his arms up wider for me to come home. I was seventeen. But what if He had given up?
Fast forward to present day. I still think often of my rescue. I think about a God who wouldn’t give up on a messed up teenager and I’m compelled to believe He has not changed. As a Youth For Christ foster home licensor, I interact regularly with families who are in the process of opening up their homes to foster children. I have the honor of hearing about their God-planted visions of growing their families or restoring a foster child’s biological family. And I have the privilege of hearing what type of child they desire to invite into their home.
With this privilege, I also hear of the type of child that “won’t work.” The heartbreaking reality is that most families don’t feel capable of caring for teenagers. Teens in the foster care system are “too broken, too damaged, too old.” They have “too many issues and too many diagnoses.” They are “too much of a risk,” and “probably dangerous.”
Sadly, some statistics agree with these stereotypes:
- Adolescents in foster care are four times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth. Teens who bounce from home to home are believing the message that they are unwanted. If no one loves me, and no one wants me, why go on?
- Approximately 48% of youth in the foster care system have been diagnosed with a mental illness. Many are understandably traumatized and struggling to adjust to the constant instability and abandonment that the foster care system may present.
- 70 % of girls who are involved in the sex trafficking industry were once foster children. Girls with no permanent home are desperately looking for acceptance and love. They are quickly trapped in a system of violence, exploitation, and greed.
My heart understands a family’s hesitation to take in a teenager with so many challenges. Certainly life is easier without bringing a traumatized teen into your life. At times, there are real safety concerns or the timing is simply not right. Not every family is called to take in a foster child, and not every foster family is called to take in a foster teen. But aren’t some of us called? Wouldn’t there be a few that God would ask?
It is no secret that teenagers are the hardest children to place in foster care. They are frequently moved from home to home and rarely given second chances when they make a mistake. Youth For Christ currently has 180 licensed foster homes and out of these homes, five families currently have a child over the age of 12. Let that number sink in for a moment. Five Christian Homes.
Yet in Pierce County alone, there are presently 590 teenagers who need a permanent home. This doesn’t account for the hundreds of teenagers in foster care who are not yet legally free. This year, almost 200 teenagers in Pierce County will age out of the foster care system, with no family to speak of. At the age of eighteen, they will have no home to return to, no family to visit, and no support system in place. The painful reality is that most of these teenagers have felt given up on for so long, that they will quickly give up on themselves--believing their life is over, before it could ever begin. What if our God looked at us through the eyes of the foster care system? What if He saw us, a product of unfair circumstances, the result of someone’s mistreatment, and thought we were beyond repair?
But God does not quit, does He? He pursues, He loves, and He rescues. I have the privilege of working with a group of people at Youth For Christ who believe, that like our Heavenly Father, there is still hope for that teenager. We believe that it is never too late for a child to have a family, and that the power of an unconditional commitment and love can transform a young person. YFC Foster Care has a vision that the Church would arise and look upon a generation of lost teenagers. What could happen if Church stood up and shouted to the hundreds of foster teens, “You are worth a home!”
I think about our YFC foster families who have teens in their home. They have told their 13, 14, and 15 year olds: “You are not too old. You are not too broken, or messy, or damaged.” They have told a 17 year old, “You are worth the risk.” Five families at YFC are living out the biblical truth that no one is beyond the grace of our God. We are so grateful for them. They are heroes to us.
But five families are not enough. Youth For Christ is beginning to engage the Church to a movement of brave love-----a movement that begins with families taking a stand to support the forgotten teenagers of our city. We are looking to license 10 more families to answer this call by the end of 2015. We have begun to actively plan, recruit, and equip families who desire to love and house a teenager.
We are also aware that a transformative change in a foster youth’s life requires the entire body of Christ to step up and meet the practical needs of forgotten young people. It requires Christian homes willing to house them, and a network that prays for and supports these families.
Would you consider being a part of this solution?
Consider these three simple ways you can get involved:
- First, Pray. Pray for teens who have been given up on. Pray that the Lord raises up godly families to care for them. And pray for the encouragement of the families who do take in foster teens. Sign up for monthly updates about Foster Care.
- Second, Give. Join Tacoma YFC One Child to support foster kids in Pierce County. For $15 a month, you can quite literally change a life. That’s worth far more than the latte you might have to give up every week. Learn more at tacoma.yfc.net/give/onechild/
- Third, Open Up. Open your heart, and maybe even open your home. The sad truth is, we need courageous families who are willing to commit to broken kids with the same faithfulness that Christ demonstrates towards us. Will you be a part of this mission?
Contact us today to learn more at info@tacomayfc.org
- Holly
Holly Bernard is the Foster Home Licensing Supervisor at Tacoma Area Youth for Christ. Her husband Myron serves as the Ministry Director for Tacoma Area Youth for Christ. Contact Holly at holly@tacomayfc.org